Lost in transit
One of the reasons why I love living in New York, is because not only do I have time in my hands, I hold the compass too. I decide exactly how to spend each minute of my days, and where my foot is going.
Those who know me well know that I have no sense of direction. At all. I’m always lost. I can never grasp the roads of Manila or those of Germany. That’s why I need a driver. I can just sleep in and he’ll take me wherever. That’s not always good.
But in New York, I know exactly where I am and where I’m going. On the road and in my life. I know exactly where I want to go and how to get there. I often get calls from my boys too–when they’re lost in the city, like I’m their compass. That probably says that it is in NY that my life is taking direction…As someone told me in one of my now favorite Tagalog words, ‘Itinalaga’ ako ng Diyos to be in New York . To exactly be on Fifth Avenue and 45th Street at this point in my life.
I can also find my way in London. I gallavanted by myself for several days there and completely enjoyed myself. So I guess I can only live here or there.
I also love aimless travelling, which I decided is the definition of wandering. What I hate is wondering, which is aimless thinking.
I love wandering but hate wondering. I love getting lost on the roads, but I hate getting lost in my thoughts. They both usually happen on the subway - one of the reasons I decided Advertising is not for me. After each class, I would sit on the train and have to think of a clever way to sell rich and hearty soup or Palmolive soap. It’s hard enough have to miss your stop because you’re lost in your thoughts, worse to be lost in work. Which also makes you lost on the map.When you’re in advertising, it’s like you never get off work. You can never say "I’m not working" because your brain is constantly looking for that bright idea. Everything in your environment at every given time is a stimulant.
Postscript: You know that moment when you get off a train, and you pause for a moment, look left and right and get your bearings? I believe that’s how we should lead our lives. No matter where we’re going and how quickly we want to get there, we must once in a while pause, get our bearing, figure out the north, the south , east and west and then decide, so we don’t ever head the wrong way.
