Rollercoaster Ride

It’s always either your personal life gets in the way of your work, or your work gets in the way of your personal life.

I used to be the first one to arrive and the last one to leave work. I didn”t mind staying late to finish things up, or doing work at home. But lately it’s been a whirlwind. So many things are happening all at the same time, and it’s all good. So many after-work drinks and lunches with friends or professional networks have been set that I sometimes need to step out at 12nn or 5pm on the dot. While that used to make me feel guilty, the clock is a guide that tells you where and on what you should be spending your thoughts and time on.

Whether the reason being late or not being there at all is "I have a meeting" or "I have a baptism," or "I have a date," some commitments override others,espcially when work events require your weekend presence. But the little boy needs your weekend presence too.

One of the things never like hearing is "I’m too busy" or ‘I’m too tired." Contrary to Scott M. Peck’s mantra, I don’t believe that love is an effort.  Because if you love something or someone,you can never be too busy or too tired, it just means that you have other priorities, and you choose to put your time and attention to those.  I remember the surprise question my Theology teacher asked me in my junior year in highschool.I was looking out the window at that moment he asked "What is love?"

I casually blurted out, "Love is when you care about the other more than you care about yourself." Alvin’s head turned and his lips curled up.

Despite modern mantras to love yourself first or to leave some love for yourself, at its core, I think love is all about selflessness. No matter what you’re doing, if you love something - your job or your friend, despite having to spend cash or time on something you otherwise won’t if he/she/it didn’t ask you to, you would make it a priority.

We just have to be aware enough to realize when those shifts between our inclinations for work and for play (all the other aspects in our lives that we really want to do) happen and why. Then let’s get a grip and the courage to do something about it. 

I say let’s all just work from 9 to 5, and play from 5 to 9.

What is it about NY City firemen that makes them so freakin’ hot? Whenever I hear and see a firetruck drive by, there’s always a totally hot guy looking out the window (and whom I’d say a prayer for). There must be something about the hotness of the fire that rubs off on them.  As they say, spend much time with your friends, pets and cars, and you’ll look like them in no time.

Yet I know some writers, bankers, producers, IT guys, and engineers who are naturally warm - and sweet. And the closest to fire they’ve ever been are the burning candles on my birthday cake.

I + 1 got invited to the NY Premiere of The Great Raid last Wednbesday. My eyes were on Joseph Fiennes, Mark Consuelos, Paolo Montalban, etc. My hands were with my friends. But my mind was on the actual red carpet. The celebrities were on it, the diplomats were behind it, and the veterans were beside it. I thought there should have been five red carpets at the Intrepid Museum that night. Or the hell, the whole space should have been red-carpetted from wall to wall. The celebrities just acted in the movie - that’s their job. We project them on the screen, and as a result we look up to them and they appear larger than life. But we should never put them on pedestals. I think event organizers, producers, diplomats, writers, engineers, doctors, soldiers, and the"ordinary " people should also get the red-carpet treatment  - in premieres and always.

Postscript: Miramax finally invited Mr. Diaz and Mr. Genito to the red carpet where they posed with Joseph for the paparazzi for the NY Times, The Post, People, Vanity Fair, etc.  After sixty years, they were in the frontline for camera flashes, and not in the line of fire.

1. I find it funny that Friendster has separate spaces for "I am friends with" and "I am a fan of". I think those two relationships actually occupy the same space in our lives.

True friends are always fans of each other. And fans become friends. There are people I never knew until they quoted my works and recounted their favorite pieces. I never fully realize the impact I’ve had on anyone until I hear of his ravings from a third person, or meet people who say "XXX always talks about you." Feedback is great, but the best kinds are from third persons who share "He emailed me and said you are the sweetest girl he knows in the city." Other times, I get those emails of "thanks for introducing."

JP, Glenn and  Mike are helping design my book. They’re all excited, and with them, I’ve had many e-mails, drinks, Korean dinners and visits to Barnes and Noble. It’s definitely great to know that like they say, while I am quietly writing at home, they got my back (and my book) even as they’re walking to work, taking a shower or falling asleep.

While B’s said that he’s never had a bad day in his life, I’ve never met a "bad" person in New York. I like everyone I meet here.There’s always something to like about each person.  Because to me, contrary to what NY folks are like to most people’s minds, New York is full of genuine, fun people who are very open to expressing their feelings and fondness of you (and vice versa). I used to squirm with every I love you or I miss you said in every possible way, through every possible means and in every possible opportunity, through both words and gestures. There are people in the world who think the world of us, and sometimes they’re in same city, in the same circle. And I’ve been lucky to be right in the middle of midtown.

So in NY, don’t dare to ask what the person in front you does if you don’t want to be totally blown away. Other times, as they tell their boyfriends, to them, we are also whiffs of fresh air.

2. Friendster also "tries hard" to really "check" if you "really are friends with XXX." Our hearts skip a beat and our brains are challenged for a second to remember the last names or email addresses of our so-called friends.

Knowledge of last names is not proof enough. I think that the degree of closeness from bottom to top is: Friendsters, acquiantances, friends, family and best friends. So if I ever meet an accident and people wonder what I really wanted to do in my life, or what can be found deep in my heart, or my closet, the following would have the best clues: Christie, Troi, JP, Paul and Pam (mostly because of the 200 questions she honestly asks and I honestly answer - in her apt or mine).