Part of a hand-written note by a renowned and admirable Filipino author..He dropped it off at my office this morning:
"There was a girl…
There was a boy…
If they had met
They would have found
A world of joy…
But she lived on
The morning side of the mountain…
And he lived on
The twilight side of the hill…"
"Pag ako ang unang tumawag or mag-text, Hindi na ako cool."
(Ergo, siya ang hot.)
"He’s no longer just a possiblity. He’s now a probability."
Karla and I, in the kindness of her heart, and flexibility of her schedule, spent two consecutive Mondays trekking our way to Staten Island.
There’s a certain uncertainty of making a trip out there alone. The concept of taking the ferry, and then a bus, in the land of the unknown. Kinda like taking a Jersey girl to Manhattan, or a Manhattanite to Jersey. You can easily lose your way.
So if no local can take you around, bring two venturers together for a greater adventure, an easier search and a surer stride.
People in New York encourage me to write my second book on my recommended spots in NY. Though I am not keen to obliging (how many NY tourist books are already in print?), I have been commissioned by Business Traveller Magazine, as a NY local, to recommend spots off the tourist map. I enjoyed the write-up and the freedom to endorse places I personally liked. In my five years in the city, have discovered a lot of cool spots, some on my own venture, and others with a little help from my friends. I am able to suggest spots because I try see and do something new every day. And this city makes that creativity so easy, and romance ideas (for guys) so trouble-free. Like today, 2 of my friends treated me to a Birthday Brunch at The Rainbow Room. I’ve seen it once before, but only for a minute. Today, I was really able to take in the picturesque view inside and outside the windows of the 65th floor. The smorgasboard is overflowing, and the music engaging. It’s what I call "The New Yorker’s Fiesta." it is also totally worth the price of $80 per person and is a meal each person, living in or visiting New York City, must experience. And I would love to take you there if I could. But if there’s one thing I will say about enthralling travelling, it is this: Wherever your new NY destination may be, nothing beats the first time.
My friends know I’m not much into sci-fi and fantasy flicks. I don’t like not being able to relate to them, and them not being real (the point of these movies, you say.) I have not even seen any of the Star Wars, Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings series. (I can feel the stones thrown at me at this point hahaha.) Though I know some people who have not seen it either, at this point, I’m already hesitant to rent them, just to know what the mania is all about. Since I have nothing to say about these hot topics, my only consolation is at least I have saved over a hundred dollars and over fifty hours otherwise spent on reading the books or watching the movies.
What’s funny though is maybe even the movies that resonate to our own lives and experiences are also fantasies. Like when Adva says that she loves the character of Keanu Reeves in Something’s Gotta Give, and the character of Adam Sandler in Spanglish and I reply I love the character of Simon Baker in Something New and Adam Sandler in 50 First Dates, maybe they’re just as unreal as Harry Potter. Because the only men I’ve met in real that come close to those characters are the men I’ve met the day I was born.
While waiting for my turn at the salon, Au rang my phone and said something so enlightening in the course of a 20-minute conversation.
"You’ve found your life’s work. Everything you do, and everything that happens to you, whether it’s a date, a conversation, or a trip somewhere, is material for your writing."
It’s true. Every sight I see, every word I hear, and every emotion I go through feed my work and enrich my life.
Nothing is wasted. Everything counts. Because we learn some thing from every thing…
And because my life’s work has become my work’s life…
Sometimes I feel like we’re stones thrown to the sea, and ripples form around us. The ripples could go far, but at the end of the day, the ones that count are the ones nearest us.
At this point in my life, I know who belongs to the first, the second and third circles; and who falls farther. Some people are promoted, others are demoted, largely based on their intent and actual practice of keeping in touch.
In a world of acquaintances and random meetings, we certainly notice who makes the effort, and who responds to it - whether it’s an invitation or an email. Because in the end, if they don’t care about you, how could you care about them, and how life is treating them?
This is why I don’t the term "friend" loosely anymore. Some of them are simply acquaintances, colleagues - many are still strangers to me. The best friends are those who call just to check in, just to say hello or nothing at all.The ones who don’t even say their names, just the three familiar words, "Hey, It’s me." The ones who invite just to hang out - no project, no show, no event. Because in a city of goals and dreams and using other people to get to them, it’s a gift to hear from people who don’t want anything else than to be with you. These are the people who matter, because you matter to them too.
“She came up to me and the first thing she tells me is that she knows you. She just wanted to take a picture, along with her ten friends.”
“I obliged…but at the end of the day and among everyone here, you’re the only one who talks to me as a person, not as a celebrity.”
In the years that I’ve been dating, I just realized this last June.
I just want somebody
decent
classy
and
fascinating
I don’t think that’s too much to ask. Unlike some of my friends who have prerequisites of height, religion and ethnicity, I actually don’t care about that.
I think that regardless of a person’s historical, religious and cultural background, regardless of his age, height or weight, he can be decent, have class and be fascinating to me.
And last month, I actually met somebody who were all these and more. He was a great conversationalist, ‘ma-PR, ’ (talks to everybody and anybody), confident, ‘galante’ (doesn’t have to be rich, but easy on the money, , like my dad and brother), and he approached me first, introduced himself and contacted me the morning after we met. There was an instant attraction, avoiding the “friends first” path that I do not at all prefer. He also had a sense of humor that I got and found actually funny. (Though it’s not a requirement for me, his is actually fun!)
Although just three, it’s not that quick to find. In reality, I’ve only been impressed with 5 guys since I’ve lived in New York. It’s a rare occasion, even rarer for me to like them. When you read the news, it’s hard to find someone decent. When you meet people, it’s difficult to find someone classy (There was a guy who told me over dinner that he rolls over in mud. In my mind, I’m like what are you?!). (More on strange date quips later). And when you know what boring is, it’s not easy to find someone who fascinates.
Oh and yes, he has to know how to spell too.
