I hope this won’t sound snobby, ’cause I do appreciate mail. And I get a LOT of lovely emails. And I do send them too–invites to events that may be interesting to my friends, contacts and egroups.And many of them actually appreciate receiving them and even show up. But I just want to share some of the emails I’ve received in the past year that made me go "???!!" In this time of forwards and spam mail, online votes, advocates and promotions, I tell myself I should not pay much attention to emails from people I don’t only not know, but don’t bother to say who they are and why they are emailing me.I’m sure we all get these kinds of emails (and snail mails). But what’s really interesting are the ones who actually say who they are, yet you’re still confused what to say or do or how to respond - or if you should actually even bother. I don’t want to be a snob and truly want to be accessible, but some experiences teach me to be otherwise. Cases in point # 1 "To the ____________: My name is _________. I am a well-known singer/actress entertainer in the Philippines and I am writing regarding the …… I do not write this letter alone, but rather I represent the sentiment of many of the Philippine actors and the Philippine entertainment industry of the Republic of the Philippines." I do not know this actress, yet she claims to be well known. Am I that completely out of touch on who’s now ‘famous’ in the Philippines? Should I check the Philippine newspapers and tabloids more frequently, or does this merit a look up on youtube or google images? # 2 Carissa, "You don’t know me and I hope this email does not find its way to your Spam folder… But I found you through XXXX website. Like you, I am a Pinoy working here in the United States…not in New York though but here in… On weekdays from 9-5 I work for a multinational company. On weekends and after work, I invest in real estate and I have written a book. The book is about real estate investing that works here and in the Philippines (I have a co-author, best-selling author XXX who in turn is based in the Philippines). The book, "… Rich Quick" (How to become a Pinoy XXX Millionaire) will be pubished in September of this year in the Philippines." I would like to get your thoughts on how to break into book publishing here in the States. There are a lot of real estate gurus so there must be a way to breakthrough from the clutter and standout from the rest. How did you do it? Can I get you as a consultant? I am willing to pay you a fee for your time and advice. How about an initial phone call? Pls call me at XXXX. Leave me a message if I don’t answer." Gullible little me did leave him a voice message with some free, solicited advice..Did he have the thougtfulness or the decency to acknowledge my phone call in any way? No. Now you know how I feel. But he does send me this generic email months later. "Now, you can own a spacious condo in the heart of Makati! A 3-Bedroom (83 sqm with 2 Toilet & Bath) Residential Condo Unit is now available for P2.988M. Great Location! Situated along XXXX., only 5 minutes away from the Makati Central Business District, Call Centers, Makati Medical Center, Ayala Center and several establishments, restaurants, offices and schools." Now that sounds like a brochure. And does that merit any kind of response? "# 3 Subject: Humble request from XXXX "Dear Carissa, I hope that this note finds you well, and that you are taking some well-deserved time to rest and relax a bit. As music lover, would you consider helping us win scholarship money for XXXX? All you have to do is donate a minimum of $10 via the Charity badge, and spread the word to people who love music and children. I was hoping to enlist your help in our campaign to earn a $10,000 matching grant from XXXX. All we have to do is to rank amongst the top 6 non-profit organizations to receive donations from XXXX." When I received this email. I didn’t know or remember who she was or how we met. And so, again, the weight of her note was very light. Though she did ‘wish’ me ‘rest and relaxation,’ she ultimately wanted some donation. Though I releaize I don’t really like her kind of music (what does she know about the music that I love or if I’m ‘music lover?’), It would have been much better if she helped me recall who she was and why she was writing and how she knows me by at least saying that she was the wife of…. Which leads us to possibly the worst kind of email "# 4 Subject: Hello from XXXXY’s Sister! "Hi Carissa, How are you? I am YYYY ZZZZ the sister of XXXXY ZZZZ. We met before (maybe 5 years ago!) in your apartment in upper east when XXXXY was here. I am back in New York, we started a business here, XXXXXXXX. We opened a small office here in Queens. With XXXXX service we can keep the strong family ties alive for our kababayans in the United States to their loved ones in the Philippines. I heard that you are now working in XXXXXXX. I hope I can set up an appointment with you sometime this week, when you have free time to tell you more about our product. I heard you have contacts to the different XXXXXX in NY and I would like to introduce our wonderful product to them. We have offers and special discounts for XXXX. About XXXXXX , it’s the first XXXXX for our kababayans in the United States . They can use this service to XXXX without having to worry about XXXX. XXXXXX . This is a business with a heart, we know how hard it is to XXXXXXX. With XXXXX. The family that talks together, stays together. We hope that you share our wonderful product to your members (????) and friends. I am attaching a brief flyer and testimonials from our users. We would be willing to assist in your future events. I hope to meet with you and talk to you soon. Thank you in advance." I had to reply: "Dear YYYY, I don’t know a XXXXY ZZZZand I never lived in the Upper East Side." Turns out, she mistook me for someone else, but still wanted to present her product to me. And these are just a few classic examples. One thing a friend of mine (whom I’d admired from my living room tv as I was growing up) told me at my birthday this year, "You know, Carissa, among all the Filipinos here in New York, you’re the only one who treats me as a person, and not as a celebrity." In real PR (not Public Relations, but what I’d define as Personal Relations), you get to know the person for the person, and not for what they can do for you. You don’t ask for favors the moment you meet a person, or worse, even before you meet him/her. ### PS And this one is common. From the people you’ve never heard from in 3 years…and have never responded to your emails and invites…then out-of-the-blue includes you in an email where quantity is key (and anonymity without personal notes seems like it’s key too.) "Hey, I just signed up to attend a big free rally for XXXXX in New York City, and I want you to be there: RSVP and join me: XXX Here are the details: XXXX Washington Square Park Gates open at 5:00 pm XXXX has hosted rallies across the country — there were 10,000 people in Iowa City, 20,000 in Atlanta, and 20,000 more in Austin. But it’s not just the numbers that are inspiring. It’s the individual people and stories behind those numbers. They’re young and old; black and white, Latino, Asian, and Native American. They’re Democrats and Independents and more than a few Republicans. Many are showing up to the very first political event of their lifetime. RSVP now and spread the word about the rally: XXXX Thanks" If only she had included a note, "let’s meet up and catch up after all these years!" There would have been another body in that rally. ###
