When stories hit us, we must be moved - to action. I am so super excited about this campaign that Annaliza and I are starting. It will truly make a difference–not only in our lives, but in the lives of those who truly need a change: the poor children in the Philippines…I hope that when we do launch it in December and January, our friends, contacts and other random nice people will join in! It’s quick and easy. Yay!
You know when we see babies and we wonder what they’ll grow up to be? Will they be a doctor, lawyer, writer? How will they decide to live their lives and contribute to society?
How about our generation? Has anybody realized that our future is now? We were the kids that they’ve wondered about 20 years ago. We’ve made our choices. We chose a school, a major, a job and a career - from among many fields and options.We are living our lives, developing society and making the world a better (or worse) place. We are the ones who are truly making strides - affecting changes in this new world of technology, mobility and connectivity. We’ve made decisions. There’s no wondering anymore. There’s only living.
Margarita and her friends were encouraging Annaliza and I to use the ‘pedometer’ - an instrument you attach on your body and counts the number of steps you’ve taken, and the number of miles you’ve walked on a day-to-day basis. Because we’re always walking in New York, we get higher numbers than anyone else in the United StatesOur frequency and speed in walking have even contributed to New Yorkers’ longer life expectancy rate, according to a recent published study.
But then I realize that what truly matters to me was how many steps I’ve had to make to take me where I am now. Whether it’s to meetings with my book’s creative team, or to a movie premiere, I wouldn’t be here if there were no literal chase. But it was a chase with direction…it wasn’t just like running on a treadmill where one runs for the sake or running.When New Yorkers walk, they set out with intention. Whether it’s set towards Fashion Avenue, Broadway, or Wall Street, it’s like having their own street map to their dreams.
God knows how many streets I’ve crossed and how many (literal) steps I’ve taken to go after my dreams. Whether they’re baby steps, long strides or sprints, they’ve taken me to a meeting to have my book signing at Borders, to the Consulate of the next country I’m headed to, or to a promising business or romantic date.
And for all these, I have my two valuable feet to thank for.
Because in New York, we merely turn a corner and reach the avenue on which international publishers are all in a row. We catch industry events, shows and parties - we just let our feet take us there and then let our lips do the talking. But first, we have to be there. That’s why comfy stylish flats are musts in this city. We have to think on our feet - not about them.
And when we really can’t get there because we’re tied up, we can always hire someone to do the walking for us. Like when an important editor wanted my book in his hands at noon (it was 9am), and I was at work, I called a messenger service. For just $20, they sent me a messenger in 20 minutes, and delivered my book to him plentry before noon.
And so when we can’t do the walking, we can have someone else walk for us. So much so that we are no longer running after our dream.The chase is over. We are walking with it in our hands.
It’s SO easy… To call. To meet. To ask. To check in. To invite. To stay in touch.
With friends, there are no games. There are no moves. Or move 1, move 2, move 3. No competition. No game over.
No hesitation, no embarassment, no shyness, no flaking out, no shadiness. You come out of your shell and ask what you like, say what you feel, and do what you want.
If she is not available, there is no meaning. It’s always just a rain check. There’s always a next time, and you’re never let down, never disappointed.
But if you want to be more than just friends? It’s NEVER easy.
Confident but not self-absorbed.
Well-bred but not flaunting.
Accomplished but not flashy.
Initiates but not flaky.
Humility and genuine interest in others are still key.
Access. Access. Access. The most important thing.
I don’t think there’ll be any other place than New York where everyday, I am, without my asking: invited to a swanky show at Fashion Week, invited to the hyper-exclusive Harvard Club, invited to have dinner with the lifestyle editor of the Philippine Star, given two free tickets to a sold-out concert, offered hotels and homes to stay at, as well as launch events in Chicago, LA and SF, HK and London, get inroduced to the President, the Vice President, and ten thousand other people.
Just today did I realize two things:
1) That in Manila, things are so limited: the circles, the events, the opportunities…access is easy but the distance is short.
2) That I do have a lot of friends, because I get a lot of perks, from people who simply love to share them with me. Every day and night is eventful. You just have to accept, and go.
I hope this won’t sound snobby, ’cause I do appreciate mail. And I get a LOT of lovely emails. And I do send them too–invites to events that may be interesting to my friends, contacts and egroups.And many of them actually appreciate receiving them and even show up. But I just want to share some of the emails I’ve received in the past year that made me go "???!!" In this time of forwards and spam mail, online votes, advocates and promotions, I tell myself I should not pay much attention to emails from people I don’t only not know, but don’t bother to say who they are and why they are emailing me.I’m sure we all get these kinds of emails (and snail mails). But what’s really interesting are the ones who actually say who they are, yet you’re still confused what to say or do or how to respond - or if you should actually even bother. I don’t want to be a snob and truly want to be accessible, but some experiences teach me to be otherwise. Cases in point # 1 "To the ____________: My name is _________. I am a well-known singer/actress entertainer in the Philippines and I am writing regarding the …… I do not write this letter alone, but rather I represent the sentiment of many of the Philippine actors and the Philippine entertainment industry of the Republic of the Philippines." I do not know this actress, yet she claims to be well known. Am I that completely out of touch on who’s now ‘famous’ in the Philippines? Should I check the Philippine newspapers and tabloids more frequently, or does this merit a look up on youtube or google images? # 2 Carissa, "You don’t know me and I hope this email does not find its way to your Spam folder… But I found you through XXXX website. Like you, I am a Pinoy working here in the United States…not in New York though but here in… On weekdays from 9-5 I work for a multinational company. On weekends and after work, I invest in real estate and I have written a book. The book is about real estate investing that works here and in the Philippines (I have a co-author, best-selling author XXX who in turn is based in the Philippines). The book, "… Rich Quick" (How to become a Pinoy XXX Millionaire) will be pubished in September of this year in the Philippines." I would like to get your thoughts on how to break into book publishing here in the States. There are a lot of real estate gurus so there must be a way to breakthrough from the clutter and standout from the rest. How did you do it? Can I get you as a consultant? I am willing to pay you a fee for your time and advice. How about an initial phone call? Pls call me at XXXX. Leave me a message if I don’t answer." Gullible little me did leave him a voice message with some free, solicited advice..Did he have the thougtfulness or the decency to acknowledge my phone call in any way? No. Now you know how I feel. But he does send me this generic email months later. "Now, you can own a spacious condo in the heart of Makati! A 3-Bedroom (83 sqm with 2 Toilet & Bath) Residential Condo Unit is now available for P2.988M. Great Location! Situated along XXXX., only 5 minutes away from the Makati Central Business District, Call Centers, Makati Medical Center, Ayala Center and several establishments, restaurants, offices and schools." Now that sounds like a brochure. And does that merit any kind of response? "# 3 Subject: Humble request from XXXX "Dear Carissa, I hope that this note finds you well, and that you are taking some well-deserved time to rest and relax a bit. As music lover, would you consider helping us win scholarship money for XXXX? All you have to do is donate a minimum of $10 via the Charity badge, and spread the word to people who love music and children. I was hoping to enlist your help in our campaign to earn a $10,000 matching grant from XXXX. All we have to do is to rank amongst the top 6 non-profit organizations to receive donations from XXXX." When I received this email. I didn’t know or remember who she was or how we met. And so, again, the weight of her note was very light. Though she did ‘wish’ me ‘rest and relaxation,’ she ultimately wanted some donation. Though I releaize I don’t really like her kind of music (what does she know about the music that I love or if I’m ‘music lover?’), It would have been much better if she helped me recall who she was and why she was writing and how she knows me by at least saying that she was the wife of…. Which leads us to possibly the worst kind of email "# 4 Subject: Hello from XXXXY’s Sister! "Hi Carissa, How are you? I am YYYY ZZZZ the sister of XXXXY ZZZZ. We met before (maybe 5 years ago!) in your apartment in upper east when XXXXY was here. I am back in New York, we started a business here, XXXXXXXX. We opened a small office here in Queens. With XXXXX service we can keep the strong family ties alive for our kababayans in the United States to their loved ones in the Philippines. I heard that you are now working in XXXXXXX. I hope I can set up an appointment with you sometime this week, when you have free time to tell you more about our product. I heard you have contacts to the different XXXXXX in NY and I would like to introduce our wonderful product to them. We have offers and special discounts for XXXX. About XXXXXX , it’s the first XXXXX for our kababayans in the United States . They can use this service to XXXX without having to worry about XXXX. XXXXXX . This is a business with a heart, we know how hard it is to XXXXXXX. With XXXXX. The family that talks together, stays together. We hope that you share our wonderful product to your members (????) and friends. I am attaching a brief flyer and testimonials from our users. We would be willing to assist in your future events. I hope to meet with you and talk to you soon. Thank you in advance." I had to reply: "Dear YYYY, I don’t know a XXXXY ZZZZand I never lived in the Upper East Side." Turns out, she mistook me for someone else, but still wanted to present her product to me. And these are just a few classic examples. One thing a friend of mine (whom I’d admired from my living room tv as I was growing up) told me at my birthday this year, "You know, Carissa, among all the Filipinos here in New York, you’re the only one who treats me as a person, and not as a celebrity." In real PR (not Public Relations, but what I’d define as Personal Relations), you get to know the person for the person, and not for what they can do for you. You don’t ask for favors the moment you meet a person, or worse, even before you meet him/her. ### PS And this one is common. From the people you’ve never heard from in 3 years…and have never responded to your emails and invites…then out-of-the-blue includes you in an email where quantity is key (and anonymity without personal notes seems like it’s key too.) "Hey, I just signed up to attend a big free rally for XXXXX in New York City, and I want you to be there: RSVP and join me: XXX Here are the details: XXXX Washington Square Park Gates open at 5:00 pm XXXX has hosted rallies across the country — there were 10,000 people in Iowa City, 20,000 in Atlanta, and 20,000 more in Austin. But it’s not just the numbers that are inspiring. It’s the individual people and stories behind those numbers. They’re young and old; black and white, Latino, Asian, and Native American. They’re Democrats and Independents and more than a few Republicans. Many are showing up to the very first political event of their lifetime. RSVP now and spread the word about the rally: XXXX Thanks" If only she had included a note, "let’s meet up and catch up after all these years!" There would have been another body in that rally. ###
If you could have a super power, what would you like to have? Some would say, the ability be invisible, see through things, stretch out far and long, fly high in the sky, or save the world from harm. Such are the desires of our imagination that so many movies of these hopes have since come out such as Harry Potter, The Fantastic Four, X-men, Spiderman and Superman. But in my daily dealings and observations, the things that we are naturally able to do, are amazing too. They could even be out-of-this-world, or phenomenal. The ability to humor, to persuade, or to flirt. Not many living things can do these things…they’re extraordinary accomplishments we do on a daily basis…these are the super powers of the heroes among us… like us.
I’ve always wondered … how Mike acts in a courtroom…how Audie talks to his models and his team…what Anna is learning is Med School..what Christie’s day feels like…how Margarita helps solve the climate crises from the UN…and how Jan does it from the UK.
And I learned that it is actually possible to find out, when Karla tagged along a whole day on my birthday this year…a late rise, lunch at Mercer Kitchen, shopping at my favorite store, (hop on train) pick up stuff from the office, (hop on train) then drink and chat with a bunch of friends — 25 of ‘em - at the sleek Hudson Hotel.
Having heard of, bought and read my book before we met, she’d wondered - as I have of my friends’ - how my days are like. A huff and puff while getting off the F on Rockefeller Center, and gold stilettos atow, she says, "A day in the life of Carissa… now I know. "
(That’s one in 365 different days…I’ll tell of Sept 18 and 19 2007 next.)
And so, now you know that I would love to tag along and be a first-hand observer to your days too…I feel that we all do something new and interesting every day…that’s what makes life worth living.
As I always say, it matters not what body or economy we were born in. We were born in the world. And the most important and most impressive thing, is what we do while we’re in it.
